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100 DAY SELF TALK

Where Feet May Fail

#Depressionisreal 

#Speakagainstsuicide 

#Youmatter 

#Fighton

#Someonesomewherecaresforyou

If you never speak up you’ll never know how easier if would have been and how a better road that would have been if only you had opened up and break  the silence. How acting a smile when all is not okay worsens the situation by the day. 

The last few weeks has been dark and full of low moments , my feet failed 😔 😔 .

When sudden changes happen in our lives everyone deals with it differently but knowing myself that caught me by surprise most especially when I had all the certainty that someone had my back only to realize I was alone , that I actually had been alone all the time.

And just to think that I didn’t see it all along.  And everything that brought me cheer and happiness suddenly  was bile and annoying to me. For a moment was so angry at myself and it kept playing over and over in my head. But then again I realized I can’t be so hard on myself that would be unfair on me. 

My sleep pattern changed at first I was sleeping longer then the timing started to reduce and  insomnia happened. So I switched to watching movies and music But concentration span was totally zero.

Whatever was going on in my head can’t be easily described  but I remember moments of being chocked by anger,  sadness,  fear,  anxiety and stress so I guess I was depressed  Yes no maybe.  All I knew was I just had to fight out and fight on…. 

Risk it all,  talk open up to someone you trust or  to that person who has extended there wholesome self as trustworthy to you.  Your people will never see you sink and just watch I have full trust in that.. 

It’s very easy to hide and put on a smile and live on without anyone noticing that you’re struggling to keep that face that smile to keep everything okay and in  check. And it just hit me so hard how so many people out here are hold up in the world of depression and anxiety most especially our male counterpart find it so hard to open up about it. 

How am I currently?  Fighting on that’s what am doing and keeping it one day at a time forgiving and letting go working on the so much that I had lacked the energy and synergy to attend to and as as Dwayne The Rock Johnson says “..when times get tough, hold onto faith and always be willing to put in the very hard work with my own two hands..”

Keep it here  ♥ , so much to do and it will be done,  delivered and exceeding my own expectations fall 99 times rise 100.

It will get better in time. 

Much love to all my support system friends and those who have always stuck up for me you guys are my heroes and biggest motivation.

Where Feet May Fail – Hillsong United. 

Models : Lucy Okal and Priscillah ibalai

Photography : Prologue Creative _ Tapawa and Bonnie Wekesa 

Love ♥. 

Miss Flônt It 

“My strength come from lifting myself up after I have been knocked down .”

Bob Moore 

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Modernised  Betrayal. 

There’s no lifebook that dictates that you should have it all together when things are not going as you want them to be. Or when sudden changes happen in  your life,  try to keep in hold up only to realize that even half of it is just not in place and then maybe you think if you lock people out of your life maybe just maybe you’ll have it all figured  out No? 

What about having it all in check even when the person who committed the hurt was meant to be your friend to have your back one who said they got you only to realize life doesn’t sometimes happen that way. 

What if all you wanted was to get some money so that your life gets back on track , to get some good loving and to clear all the piling debts that just won’t go away. Or simply just to be at par with your peers you know everyone is bowling and cruising *Dubai Tings so you think and you just go ahead and do it only to regret it later .

How to fix it you start to think. You start to bash yourself so hard that the only voice you hear is “not worth another minute hear”.At first you push it away but as it gets louder you get busier yours friends see you lesser and lesser. You stop picking calls and the last time you were seen no one can recall why?  Because you were fine , okay and jovial. The normality of it all kicks in just like a joke.

Dig in a little more boom,  she’s no longer here but in another world gone forever. Then the RIP on her wall follows with the condolences and how  special a person she was. Others would be in denial as to how come they never saw it coming or they wished they had done more to revert what already has happened. But she  seemed always happy and full of life you’ll all think what pushed her to do that.. 

Twice or thrice I can tell how it feels to get to that point of wanting to take your own life suicide has to be one of those things that no one wants to talk about. Get some money caught my by surprise the whole storyline is really out of this world.It started out as a short film which was later adapted into a full length movie .

Get some money is a biblical representation of the betrayal of Jesus Christ as it sheds light on  the plight of suicide being while  sensitizing  world bodies on the need of awareness and to #speakagainstsuicide. 

 And to think the number of suicide cases in men is higher than women is a shocking  thing to deal with.Women talk and they open up more than men there no  much work that needs to be done in order to reduce and completely eradicate suicide.

Been there not once,  not twice but thrice My life is just by Grace make sure you go out and watch “Get Some Money”.

SOLD OUT VIP.

‘Get Some Money – The Parable of Judas’ premieres on Sat 25th February at the century cinemax garden city mall and our VIP is sold out. 

Get Some Money, revolves around the turbulent life of ‘Judas Mikwanja Iscarioti’ (Collins Ochieng) focussing on his troubled love life with Magda ( Naomi Mburuh) and also the struggles that come with handling money for the outrageous discipleship. The film features some of Kenya’s top actors, both established rookies and experienced majors.

Few regular tickets remain with the following prices.

Regular – Ksh. 1200/=

Squad – Ksh. 5000(group of five)

Watch trailer here: Get Some Money – Trailer

Powered by: #vitafoamKenya & #NeroLimited

Picture by: #iNent for #crowCorresponder

© Bonnie Wekesa. 

#Speak against suicide 

Love 😘

Miss Flônt It. 

‘May your path be the sound of your feet upon the ground,carry on’ ..♥ 

Fun- Carry On 

A Moment Of Silence.

Sometimes in life we all need to take time out and just breath even if that’s the only thing we do the whole day. Life can be overwhelming and that’s normal. Personally January always has to be one of those months where I sit and reflect practically as what I have done so far and where needs improvement .It’s a constant ball that keeps running in my head regardless of where in life I am. I make it a point to look at my journey so far and the direction that am patching my life into.j26_8376

Life has a way of questioning itself and answering us back though  not immediately but spanned out over the years am not talking of the negated thoughts of doom, let’s say more philosophical if there’s such a word. Taking responsibility of my choices and its repercussions and how it has changed my life both for a better me while at the same time most times some of the choices don’t yield good.j26_8855

Make memories that when you look back with nostalgia youll smile with such fondness that brings warmth to your entire existence.I look back at times instead of regreating I laugh at mysleft with a “what exactly was I thinking?”.j26_8808

All in all I have seen better days out of grief, sad moments, worst situation , happy moments, special moments just name it all at the same time I have made awesome and amazing memories that will always be part of my journey in just all dimensions. The energy I keep directing towards my journey is with such tender love and surprises .

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Silence and taking time off is always my recharge mode time at the same time my birthday is just around the corner am excited so excited that it makes me happy in an awesome igniting way Happy Dance 😀  😀 😀

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Wardrobe  Make up & Shoes : Models own

©2015.  Sami Khan Photography.

Be Confident  Be You 😘

Love.

Miss Flônt It.

 

“There are years that ask and years that answer”. – Zora Neale Hurston.

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